So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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