new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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