just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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