your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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