My girlfriend figured out who you are.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
