Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
