I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
