if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
