im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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