STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
