My boss' voice literally gives me gas
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
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