I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
