we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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