we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
