Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
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