i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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