never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
