So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
