Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
