I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
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