Yo dont text me then not text me
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
