i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
