i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
