Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
