Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Randomize
