Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
