I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
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