First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I think I have vodka in my lungs
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
