Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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