so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
