Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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