Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize
