He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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