remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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