there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Randomize
