before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
