I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
he fucked my hip out of place.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
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