i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
