ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
