where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
"it" just moved
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
