I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
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