A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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