How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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