She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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