he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
