found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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