He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
