Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
