alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
My penis needs a shock collar
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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