you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
