i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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