have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize