you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
