my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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